Walking With A Friend or Alone?

juli: Almost two years ago I thought, maybe, I would walk with the friend who told me about the Camino. It soon became apparent that though he wants to walk it some time, that time has not come.

And so I considered walking alone. As my sense of direction is sometimes challenged I bought a GPS watch. I quickly discovered that a GPS watch doesn’t guide your path; it just records where you’ve been. My kids didn’t laugh when I told them they could use the computer tracking of my watch to find my body. (My children usually appreciate my dark sense of humour and respond with something that makes me laugh. This time, their concern for my safety over-ruled their funny-bone).

I admit, when you're alone and lost, it can feel overwhelming. When you're with a friend, being lost can be an adventure.

But who would walk with me? Who did I know who could also leave everything behind for a time? Someone who would also see the value in walking 1000 km? I’m fortunate to have many friends and family. Each would bring unique gifts to this journey.

In October 2010 (just days before I met the man who planted the idea of the Camino in my mind) I was in Paris for the weekend. (A weekend later christened “The Weekend of the World's Worst Kiss.” An entirely different story but still makes me laugh and shudder at the same time!) I walked to the Left Bank, pausing briefly on Pont Neuf; a moment of silence at the spot where I had tossed my wedding ring in to the Seine a few months before. Just a few steps from the bridge was my destination, a beautiful apartment overlooking the Seine, and a reunion of Students from Wendy Goldman-Rohm’s writing workshops. (http://www.pariswritersretreat.com/Weekend-Writing-Workshops.html)

I attended Wendy's writing class in Paris in 2009 and a few of the people from that class were in attendance at the 2010 Writer’s Retreat. My heart was full seeing these friends again. There were also a few people I did not know. Introductions were made. A beautiful young woman with a bright smile introduced herself: “Stacy, from Calgary.”

It took another year for Stacy and I to get together in Calgary. We met for lunch and discussed each other’s writing as well as our lives and plans. I had randomly brought up the idea of walking the Camino with a few friends and family, though I was still leaning towards walking alone. I was also aware that the timing was not right for most of the people I know. Leaving family, a spouse, a job for several weeks… I am sad about the loss of my marriage; not the way it was, but the way I always believed it could someday be. I also recognize that I am fortunate. As a result of sacrifices and choices my former husband and I made, I now have many opportunities that I am grateful for…like the luxury of taking a few weeks away from day to day responsibilities, and walking across Spain. My youngest child is off to University. My other children each pursue their own paths. My job as ‘mother’ is in transition. This is the time for me to go.

Stacy had just returned from an adventurous holiday and spoke of leaving again soon for an all-female sailing trip.

I didn’t know Stacy very well, but I could see that she was kind, thoughtful, and intelligent…

“Stacy, would you ever consider walking the Camino de Santiago?”

I had posed this question to a few people already. The answer, when yes, included a qualifier: “but I can only take 2 weeks from work.” “ I can’t leave my husband for more than 3 weeks” “Can we run?”…

Stacy was quiet for a moment. Then she simply said, yes.

 I met Stacy October 2, 2010 on what would have been my 30th Wedding Anniversary. Now when I think of October 2, I think of Nuit Blanche (Nuit Blanche - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) and Stacy being stopped every few feet by yet another young man that just had to talk to her. I’ve teased her that I can’t tolerate a pack of men following her on the Camino and have ordered that she not shower, brush her hair, or wear any make-up. I’m afraid it will do no good. Her beauty is more than skin deep and will shine right through.

   “ Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.” ~ Helen Keller

Shopping trip lessons: You can't travel by air with Bear Spray or Bear Bangers. They are considered weapons. Also, pet stores don't sell dog-repellant. In fact, clerks at pet stores may be offended when this item is requested. Instead, I bought a dog whistle as I've heard rumors of some issues with dogs along the camino. However, it is unclear if a dog whistle calls a dog to you, or sends it away. Oh, and a man standing in line behind me at MEC told me that bear bells are just dinner bells, for bears.